The first and main rule of a relationship is that you need to be honest.
Well, a relationship can be thought of as a game, one wherein there are two winners and not one like in Russian Roulette. One wherein the teammate opposite us is the best we could get. Yes, there are rules and both of you need to follow them. It’s a fair game that doesn’t let anyone think they are being cheated or misjudged or mistreated. One wherein you don’t need to sacrifice your own needs just so you can accommodate theirs.
The other person can make you happy, but for how long? To be happy is all in our own hands.
Let’s just say relationships are a messy game because the other person is not there to complete you but to complement you.
You are the one who decides what it is that you want, what choice you make. So, don’t lie to yourself, if you want something, say so.
Yes! You should listen to your mind, but don’t ignore your heart; balance them out because no one is completely right and no one is completely wrong.
If you can accept someone’s beautiful side, you need to accept their flaws too and if they are willing to listen, tell them without any doubt because holding on to information is not a good thing.
Not a single person is unemotional, some just try to hide it well. But your emotions are necessary, so don’t suppress them while making any decisions. Not everything works in logic and reasoning. If emotions weren’t required, why were you given them in the first place? They are what makes us human and hiding something thinking that you would be hurt is not the way forward.
Emotions are a part of you, they make you who you are. Keeping them hidden won’t solve any purpose if you keep on remembering them. It’s better to get them out once and for all, let people judge you, who cares. Don’t hide your true self.
What’s the purpose of having a heart if you keep on suppressing it to the point of bottling everything up and then one day it just explodes. If you don’t want to express your emotions in front of someone else, just write them down, somehow you have to let them out, one way or the other. Maybe there is someone emotional enough who you can share them with.
Sharing means lessening something out. But don’t share your emotions with anyone, only with someone who you believe has gone through a similar experience or who is capable enough of being emotional as not to hurt you. Someone who you can trust completely.
Don’t lie to your partner because a lie comes up after some time if not soon and second they would be more hurtful when known later and not at the moment. Yes, you need to lie to your kids sometimes to keep them from learning something too soon, but it’s your partner we are speaking about. They are in this game the same as you are, so never hide anything from them.
Did they commit to something, but didn’t do it and didn’t discuss it with you? They should because you trusted them that they would do it. Not doing something is okay, but hiding it is not.
Maybe you are thinking he/she would do it once you tell him/her to and maybe he/she is thinking that you would tell them more about it. So miscommunication between the two can happen. Make a base wherein you discuss as much as possible with them. But do have your privacy in certain matters if you want to.
Sometimes we just forget to look at our partner’s face, into their eyes. Any action, however small of ours, can cause them discomfort. Isn’t it?
Maybe there is something that they do but to you, it seems totally ridiculous. Discuss it with them and just try to sort it out.
A relationship is a continuous effort on both ends. When one thinks it is not so, it breaks. Loving your partner and your life with them every single day is important. If that breaks, it is like staying with a dead mass.
Because of some priorities, fights are normal but getting back is important. Maybe both of you are ignoring each other to make them learn a lesson. But ignoring them for too long would bring a crack in it.
Maybe they act differently in different conditions like their behaviour is different outside of the home and different inside the home.
Maybe you made plans to do something together, but the other already did it before you and broke the casual promise. This would still hurt like hell and leave a hole inside you because patience is an important parameter. You may get the feeling of backstabbing and this behaviour of them is really not good at all.
When two people are ready to do anything for each other, like for eg- being partners in a murder, that is what the beginning of a good relationship is. Compromise is important. If you believe you are always right, you would end up losing out. Have your values and identity. If you think you are the one keeping it up and not them, then it would only end badly.
What if they still remember their ex, remembering the good parts of them and still overlooking all the bad that happened?
Make them understand that they learned their lesson already, so remove them from your life. Don’t keep on looking for their best qualities in someone else. Everyone has a share of good and bad qualities and that’s what makes them who they are, different.
So, if they or you keep on doing this, you are going to make your current or next relationship toxic.
What you need is to relook for yourself and your priorities. Maybe you are still looking for the same in your next relationship, don’t do it. You are thinking of finding the same kind of person again and not making the same mistake. That doesn’t happen.
When someone says they want to be single forever, it basically means that they have been hurt more than once or way badly and they just can’t take any more pain. Maybe they have lost faith in people and on themselves, but everyone is not the same. If you don’t trust your decisions, how can you trust someone else?
Yes, words and tones can mean differently. Meeting someone, looking into their eyes, is a differentiator. Even if you care way too deeply about someone, you may end up fighting with them, having an argument and sometimes, it may even lead to unhealable damage.
Get back! Please! Because bottled up anger leads to killing of the love day by day.
Just talk! Please! Because fighting can be both productive as well as destructive.
You want it to work but walk away at the first sign of difficulty. Why do that?
Someone’s inability to see your value doesn’t make you any less valuable, it’s just their loss, not yours because if they don’t find you worthy now, they never would.
Whatever you plan to do, there is always a risk.
Waking up is also a risk.
Drinking water is also a risk.
Taking a step forward is also a risk.
So, are you willing to take it?
Take a relationship as a challenge rather than as something you need to do.
It can be scary falling for someone who doesn’t fall for you but what can you do? Life is a risky game and you have to keep playing it. There’s no stop button. There is never a right time to do anything. Just do it when you feel like it. Sometimes you need to believe in your gut feeling and not kill it.
You can’t predict and you can’t be with anyone you desire. Your partner is bound to come into your life naturally and sweep you away. There is never one right person, there will be a few who will come at different times. It is up to you when and who you choose them to be.
The thought that you are good enough, so the other person would change for you is not a good one.
Look deep within, when you are in front of a change situation, you would hide away from it, but now you want someone to change for you. How cool is this!
Depending on someone is not a bad thing, how much you depend, that is the question.
A relationship is all about having someone whom you can connect to. Help and be helped, depend and be depended but not too much.